Celebrity stalkers

Sarah Jesica Parker

It’s all well and good thnking of the poor celebrities getting followed by what the media portrays as a crazed, celebrity stalker, but it is such a two-way street.

Everywhere I turn, and don’t forget I live up a mountain, in Monetier, a small ski-village of some 1000 people in the ski station of Serre Chevalier, which although sunny is still rather uneventful, especially in the off season, which we are in now.

So here I am up a mountain and who do I see everyday, following me round like a bad smell, bloody Jennifer Aniston and Gwenith Paltrow, Sit down on the sofa, one of them is already next to me, take the kids to school can’t help pass at least one of them outside the newsagents, if I drive to Briancon there they are larger than life loitering in the car-park, gazing down at me from some huge billboard.

Why me?

It especially annoys me that it’s these two annodyne templates, the only person I know who likes Gwyneth is a somewhat agressive lesbian, which makes me feel better not having the least physical attraction for her and Aniston has a jaw so square I’m beginning to think she’s a bloke.

But why are we bombarded with these two? I have no interest in them nor does anyone I know, but they insist on wheedling their way into my life, maybe that’s the point that they are there to distract us from what we should be thinking about, it is of no interest to me what they wear, where they go or who they shag, really I don’t give a tinkers.

I suspect it is part of a plan to infantalise us, same with fashion- I did flick the mag with one of them on the front and it seems to me fashion is designed to keep women in the “dress up” mode, bloody grow up girls, it’s just rubbish.

It’s only going to get worse, the publicity for Sex in the City 2 has now started, which I think the Family Guy best described: “A show about three hookers and their mother.”

Make it stop, please come back Jesus.