What defiles a man?

It has come to our attention that people are not drinking enough on the slopes. Well this won’t do.

Apparently you got to be on the fluids to keep your muscles taught and in good nick. Skiing at high and dry altitude can dehydrate you quick-smart, so this means at three in the afternoon, people start to get a bit run down, as all that sweatin’ and huffin’ and a puffin has carried away more moisture into the atmos than is good for you. This translates into aching limbs the next day and a cumulative effect that scientists call “knackerous cantankerous exhumourous”. This means you will wake up the next day, but more likely the third day into the week, feeling bedways is bestways, a situation that of course puts you in harms way. It’s best to attack this is head on, at least take water regularly and according to the article I’m ripping off, you will also need carbs and even proteins throughout the day - not just at lunch - to stop muscle damage from ruining your ski. You’re going to have to take that as read, but they did some tests and it seems pretty obvious a few simple steps will make a difference, not just on how you feel on the day but in speeding recovery times.

Cold suppresses thirst so be aware of that, inversely it makes you pee, so that’s a tightrope to walk just there, and it’s not just water that’s leeched away, you need electrolytes and stuff too, of which you should take a good swig at least on every lift. The easiest way to get a good mix of carbs and protein would be to get an energy drink and cheese or nuts to nibble on in your pocket, but that’s a bit easy.

So here’s a drink recipe that anyone can make:

• 1/2 cup orange juice,
• 9 tbs. Sugar,
• 3/8 tsp Salt,
• Water to 2 liters

This gives, per an 8 oz serving: or 14.4 grams carb (6.1%), 104 mg sodium, 28.4 mg Potassium. (Still do the protein snack thing.) All the other recipes call for peanut butter, but bring your own as the French haven’t discovered that delight yet. Gastronomy? My fat arse.